You left. Or they left. Or you moved cities, went no contact, blocked the number.
And still.
You flinch when your phone lights up. You apologise for things that aren't yours. You explain yourself to people who never asked. You meet someone new and three months in you recognise the feeling in your stomach.
Same person. Different face.
You are not broken and you are not stupid.
You are running a pattern.
It was put there.
It can be taken out.
Booking options are available at the bottom of this page
You've read everything. You know the words now. Love bombing. Gaslighting. Trauma bond.
Knowing the words didn't stop the pull.
You still check their profile. You still rehearse conversations you'll never have. Part of you still wants them to finally see what they did.
That pull is energetic. It sits in your body and your field, and no amount of understanding moves it. I can see it. I clear it.
This one goes deeper because it went in first.
You learned before you could talk that love had conditions. That your job was to manage someone else's moods. That your needs were too much.
You built a whole self around that. The good one. The capable one. The one who never needs anything.
Then you grew up and chose people who felt like home.
The original pattern is the one I go looking for. Clear that and the later ones lose their grip.
A pattern is a belief with a charge on it.
"I have to earn love." "If I speak up I'll be punished." "It's my fault." "I'm only safe when they're happy."
You didn't choose these. Most were set before you were seven. Some came down the family line and were never yours to begin with.
They run underneath your thinking. That's why you can know better and still do the same thing.
I'm clairvoyant. I see these patterns in your energy field. They show up like a puzzle. Once I can see the pieces, I can take them out and put healthy ones in their place.
In a session I track it back to the root. The first time. The moment the belief went in. Then I clear the charge from it (the belief, the cords, the old agreement your younger self made to stay safe).
You tell me what happened. Start anywhere. Talking about it is how I connect to the energy, and it clears more easily that way. Often you'll feel it go. A breath drops. Your shoulders come down. Something that has been loud for years goes quiet.
I've been doing this for over a decade. I've helped hundreds of people out of this exact pattern.
People tell me:
"I now feel immune to this parent's antics (water off a duck's back) and protected from their negative energy. The change was immediate." M.W.
"Almost immediately my boundaries started to change. I looked at myself in the mirror and I didn't see a small girl but a woman." A., Slovakia
"I don't feel so emotional or guilty when I think about my mum anymore." D.B.
It isn't about them anymore. That's the change.
Sessions are by Zoom. I work with people in New Zealand, Australia, the UK, the US and Europe.
Sessions are 50 minutes. Options are at the bottom of this page.
You book a time. I send a link. You show up as you are. Crying is fine. So is being completely numb.
Some patterns clear in one session. The ones laid down in childhood usually take a few. I'll tell you honestly what I see and what I think it needs.
You want me to diagnose them. I don't. I've never met them and it doesn't matter what they are. I work on what they left in you.
You're in danger right now. If you are not safe, contact your local emergency or family violence service first. Come to me after.
You want someone to agree it was all their fault and leave it there. It probably was their fault. And the pattern is still in you, which means it's yours to clear.
Because something in you recognises them as familiar. Usually it started with a parent or an early relationship. The pattern reads their behaviour as home. Clear the pattern and they stop being interesting.
It's what I do every week. Talking helps you understand what happened. Energy work moves what the understanding can't reach (the pull, the cords, the charge in your body). Many of my clients do both.
A trauma bond is an energetic attachment held in place by a belief. I find the belief, clear it, and cut the cord. The missing them usually eases first.
It helps. When you talk about the situations, I connect to the energy and it clears more easily. You choose where to start and how much to say.
Yes. Everything is by Zoom. Most of my sessions are with people I never meet in person. Distance makes no difference to the work.
Yes. Some people can't go no contact (co-parenting, an ageing parent, a shared workplace). Clearing the pattern changes how their behaviour lands in you, even when they don't change at all.
No. It sits alongside it. If you're working with a therapist or doctor, keep going. I'm not a medical or mental health professional and I don't diagnose or treat conditions.
It depends how early it went in. A pattern from one relationship can shift in a single session. A childhood one usually takes several. I'll tell you what I see after the first.
For anyone who's looking for help, please know that I'm NOT a doctor or psychologist and that I am unable to diagnose.
Please seek professional medical advice if you are mentally or physically unwell.
Internal Solutions Ltd - Trading as Hayley Lowe
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