Who are you watching? Turning envy into inspiration

A few years ago there was an insurance ad on New Zealand TV that has never left me, though I've tried to find it online with no luck, so you'll have to take my word for it. A man in a wheelchair sits on a balcony, watching a man walk past and wishing he could do the same. The walker is watching a cyclist, the cyclist is watching someone in a car, and on it goes, all the way up to a helicopter. Nobody in the whole chain is happy with what they have. Everyone is looking at the next person along.

The people around you are evidence

Most of us do a version of that, especially when things feel tight or uncertain. So here's a different way to look. Start with the people around you: the kind friend, the generous neighbour, the person living the sort of life you'd love. You drew every one of them into your world, and they're not just company, they're evidence of what's possible for you. Your surroundings are a mirror of your potential, not a list of what's missing.

Give your eyes somewhere happy to land

Then give your eyes somewhere happy to land. I love a "wall gazing board", a few images of the future you want, pinned up where you'll see them while the kettle boils. The more often your attention rests there, the more natural that future starts to feel.

Inspiration or envy?

Watching the next person along isn't the problem. If seeing them lights you up and makes you think "that's coming for me too", that's inspiration, and it pulls you forward. It's when it turns into envy that it starts to pull you down. So notice which one you're feeling, and when it's envy, gently turn around and look at what you already have. It's usually a lot more than you think.

If envy or a sense of lack keeps pulling you down, it often has roots in old beliefs that can be cleared. See how healing sessions work.